Oh EM GEE

So this is my first entry.. my diary.. of me... going through my pregnancy..

My pregnancy happens to be very young...very fresh, i don't think i'm even a full 4 weeks... but i think that this online blog/diary is a good idea for me...

K..

First thing's first.... I am a 21 year old music majoring college student... this is the last week of school coming up and last monday (april 26) i found myself to be expecting a child... first thing i said was OH em GEE!

I remember taking the PT.. the most humorous part of the day... i just felt the need to take it... i took it.. saw just one line at first.. and was like good.. i ain't pregnant.. checked again 2 minutes later.. and there was the other line... like.. what.. NOT good..

well... i say it isn't good due to my situation. clearly i will be parenting alone and going through this whole process alone, actually. My parents are not too great with me doing the pregnancy and keeping the kid.. it has always been like.. when i get in trouble... there were ways to get me out, different detours so i can continue to do what i wanna do. clearly i can't this time.

WHY!?

here's why:

an abortion cost 650 in arkansas (don't judge me i'm alone and i didn't want to bring up a child in some kind of fucked up environment and people disliking me for having government assistance when the time comes)

i refuse to put my body through the pain of an abortion or my mind...

oh.. and did i mention i'm a college student without a JOB... uh yeah... not good

So i have a TON of challenges ahead of me. I have decided to keep my lil bean.. cuz that's what it is now.. really.actually just a tip of a pushpin... or the size of a period.. a lil dot...

so, i'd like to give my child a good childhood while still pursuing my goals of getting my music degree...

all is not lost.. but it's going to be a hard climb...

i just burped... i'm hating the fact that i've been super burpy and super pissy lately...

ANYWAY... the person who practiced the baby-making act with me and wasan't respecting results is CLEARLY NOT IN the picture.. which hurts, really bad, and not very fair to me.

but i digress....

my family won't too much be in the picture either, due to the fact that though i'm an adult.. 21... i'm still not allowed to make my own decisions, i believe that i won't tell them about my pregnancy mainly until i start showing, that way it'd be too late for them to press the issue of an abortion on me.. it don't make sense how i am an adult, basically on my own without the right to my own decisions...

so yeah.. this lil ranger. is a LONE ranger.. no help....

stay tuned world, this blog will be one interesting 9-10 month ride..

i hope its a very informing blog for some women, maybe entertaining maybe just surreal... but i want it to be read! by somebody!