.... i'm depressed......
let's start off with the first three.. .my bff VD just had her baby.. my cousin GR just had her baby my big SH is five months pregnant my friend VC is seven months my lil sis KB is having her babyshower next week.. i'm overjoyed with all these life changing experiences in my circle of friends!! :)
okay now to the last one... depressed...i still don't know how i'm going to tell my mom and i keep reflecting back on the harsh things she used to say to me. so i'm growing numb to those words as i play them in my mind every day. every night.. but it hurts to know, just like the rest of my life.. i'm in it by myself.. i expressed my depression to my cousin/p.i.c/rib RJR.. like shit i'm damn near homeless.. i told her how her mom takes her to get stuff.. my mom takes me shopping with MY money.. anyway.. let me not talk about how low my mom is in MY opinion.. which clearly don't matter.. lol
i'm also depressed cuz i feel that i'm going to be more behind in the things that i'm trying to double up on.. as far as school is concerned then i need a job to be able to take care of me and lil cupcake.. right now its HARRRD.. then my cousin is soo pretty and things are sooo going right in her life. i'm liike why can't my life be like hers... she's in nursing school, she's NOT pregnant (and having waaay more unprotected sex than i have ever had!), she's an AKA, she's super pretty, she has a nice shape, her parents spoil her to death.. why can't that be me.. why do i feel like such an outkast!.... (cries)...
anyway....
what's going on with cupcake.. i'm officially 7weeks pregnant.. no morning sickness yet.. i do pee alot though. but hands feet arms and legs are developing... how awesome.. not fingers and toes yet though! oh and a tail lol... but that'll shrink.. my baby is the size of a blueberry(yum yum)... you can read the rest on Babycenter.com... anyway that's all for now.... maybe i'll be back later with some news..
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