Cupcake makes me listen

TO MUSIC.... omg i'm falling in love wtih my cupcake and i can't feel him move yet or anything... i pray he's okay.. :) but because i'm single...certain songs i play alot to bond me and him together...  this one happens yo bring tears to my eyes



anything by jay-z he might b talking about doing anything for a girl.. but i'd do anything for one kiss from my cupcake... got a while... :-/



sunshine... i can't go a day without my sunshine.. :) :D


that's what's on repeat right now. but um.... 9 weeks :) :) all is well so far! :D
i'll blog about my cupcake update :)

oooh weee

i'm falling behind! :( i've been on my grind 
being pregnant, and moving around aint too good, i jus need to chill with my feet up like everyday! real shit though! i haven't been able to get on and do my bloggy blog...  anyway RECAP TIME
so i'm 8 weeks and 6 days.. almost hitting my 9 week point.. kupkake is doing well... and i go to the doctor next week.. i'm attending summer school AND i'm working.. AND i'm trying to get another job AND i'm in the process o getting an apartment.. just praying for the best.. .doors are opening so i'm about to hop my ass in them bitches...
word is slowly getting out about me having a cupcake in the oven and i had a very interesting conversation that i may not disclose on the blog with one of my gay now straight friends.. he told me that he stopped talking to me cuz of the treatment that my bd has given me.. but hey my bd isn't in the picture so he won't be brought up unless he attempts to get into the picture again.. which i highly doubt he'd do. he's a pure blood coward :)
anyway my baby is the size of a gummy bear/kidney bean according to babycenter.com and alphamom.com.   using two websites now.. they both actually kind of balance each other out pretty nifty...
but i've been concerned about stretch marks.. so i'll b investing in some bio OIL real real soon and real shea butter... i don't want my precious tattoos to fade away... lol.. thank god they're on my sides and not my tummy but i still want them to not b ruined or harmed with the growth of lil cupcake.....
other than that i'm exhausted... girls night out tonight... girls night in tomorrow night.... so fun fun!!
MY NOSE IS STUFFY.... i'm miserable though......
through all of this i'm thankful for no morning sickness


maybe i'll do another post tonight with my procrastinating behind... i want to put pics up of my growing tummy.... i just wanna see the growth
anyway,
HUGS AND KISSES
me!

excitement!!!

i'm EXCITED!! i'm HAPPY! i'm THRILLED!

.... i'm depressed......

let's start off with the first three.. .my bff VD just had her baby.. my cousin GR just had her baby my big SH is five months pregnant my friend VC is seven months my lil sis KB is having her babyshower next week..  i'm overjoyed with all these life changing experiences in my circle of friends!! :) 

okay now to the last one... depressed...i still don't know how i'm going to tell my mom and i keep reflecting back on the harsh things she used to say to me. so i'm growing numb to those words as i play them in my mind every day. every night.. but it hurts to know, just like the rest of my life.. i'm in it by myself.. i expressed my depression to my cousin/p.i.c/rib RJR.. like shit i'm damn near homeless.. i told her how her mom takes her to get stuff.. my mom takes me shopping with MY money.. anyway.. let me not talk about how low my mom is in MY opinion.. which clearly don't matter.. lol 

i'm also depressed cuz i feel that i'm going to be more behind in the things that i'm trying to double up on.. as far as school is concerned then i need a job to be able to take care of me and lil cupcake.. right now its HARRRD.. then my cousin is soo pretty and things are sooo going right in her life. i'm liike why can't my life be like hers... she's in nursing school, she's NOT pregnant (and having waaay more unprotected sex than i have ever had!), she's an AKA, she's super pretty, she has a nice shape, her parents spoil her to death.. why can't that be me.. why do i feel like such an outkast!.... (cries)...

anyway....

what's going on with cupcake.. i'm officially 7weeks pregnant.. no morning sickness yet.. i do pee alot though. but hands feet arms and legs are developing... how awesome.. not fingers and toes yet though! oh and a tail lol... but that'll shrink.. my baby is the size of a blueberry(yum yum)... you can read the rest on Babycenter.com... anyway that's all for now.... maybe i'll be back later with some news..

What's up with the cupcake?

wow.. today was a busy busy busy busy day for me.. i went to the doctor for my first prenatal checkup..
how did that go.. well everything is good! :) i'm 6 weeks and 2 days.. as of right now.. i'm having a singleton and all is well....
my doctor is this ol' ghetto chick named lakisha.. lol her name is lakisha forreal and i admire her cuz she is ghetto as HELL but she's a doctor! she put in WORK for hers! she basically showed me that throughout whatever issues she had to deal with through life she overcame them..that's how i wanna b.. with this pregnancy thing.. gpa was sexy this spring i wanna keep that motivation and momentum going.. even when january 2nd comes.. i wanna drop this load and continue with my education while raising my baby, of course. i have a plan to at least ahve a job and my own place by december. cuz i want a few pieces to splurge on.. but i'll get in products in a second post.. we're talking about my doctor's appointment right now..  and why my cupcake is called cupcake.. that's always a cute one....
anyway. my doctor's appointment went as follows:

• i pee'd in a cup
• i got my blood pressure taken
• i drank some entirely too sweet (but decent) fruit punch juice and almost threw it up
• i got my finger pricked
• i went and got my pap done.. and looked at my gyno's big ass hands(she got some massive hands)
• i got blood taken and cried (and the nurse said she better not see any tattoos while i'm crying like a baby)

i got an ultra sound.. and in my ultrasound was a lil thing blinkin really fast.. it was my baby! size of a lentil bean according to.. Babycenter.com... i'm strangely excited.. and this comes from me being strangely scared at first and NOT wanting to have the baby.. i'm sorta at peace.. i belive that's God workin' on me making me "ready".. cuz i'll keep saying and keep saying.. I'M NOT READY LAWD! i'm still disappointed in myself especially after seeing how focused i was during the year with my pretty gpa.. i really feel like i let myself down. but u know.. im in love with my lil cupcake.. and i won't be mad at him when he comes.. :)  so my relegious women's center appointment is tomorrow.. i'll c how that goes and keep the world posted...

oh oh oh oh oh! i said my due date earlier but u probably didn't catch it..
Cupcake Lawrence is arriving (drumroll please) :JANUARY 2, 2011 (round o' sound for tha cupcake!)


so.. i've gotten lazy.. as stated in this post. iw as going to explain why cupcake was named cupcake in the womb in a seperate post.. but screw it. i'm pregnant, i'm hungry, i'm LAZY..
cupcake got his name because i like cupcakes... they're small.. neat, and sweet.
and i had a status that said.. When life gives you lemons.. use the zest to make cupcakes! so.. i'm using the zest from the super sour lemons of life.. to help mold and shape and love my lovely cupcake! with God's help of course.. and cupcake is helpin me get closer spiritually.. also closer to myself..

anyway.. that's enough for the day
peace, love, and chicken
Me

Hi.. My name is..

man... i just started writing in this blog.. no introduction to me.. just introduction to my situation.... all y'all know is i'm 21 and pregnant.. oh and that i'm in college...

well i'm a MUSIC major.. and i'm a LOVER of MUSIC... i'm a tattoo'ed and pierced artful chica... i have a few friends and a very disfunction family... lol

i love deep conversations and i'm single.. yeah.. anyway.. i say that to say this.. i'm going to be doing more than random rantings of my pregnancy.. i wanna share what i like.. my ink.. my music( well not originally mine, but my likings) and things that interest me for me and for my baby....

OAN: i've been having dreams again.. just like i've had pregnancy dreams.. i'm having twin dreams.. uh oh